With A Smile

Growing up, my mother always said, if you are going to do something, do it without complaining, do it without regret, do it with a smile on your face. I have tried to follow this advice. If I go travelling, while there maybe some frustrating parts, I focus on the positives and let people know I am glad I went. If I am giving a present, I do not stop to think how I would rather have the money for myself to spend I something I need; I give it with joy. Unfortunately I cannot say the same is true of my wife.

When we went to Hawaii and boarded the plane only to be asked to leave because the play was not safe to fly, that was what I heard about for most of the time we were there. If we got out somewhere and our son has a meltdown, she will focus on that instead of the enjoyable time we had away. The same can be true about how she helps her mother.

As I have stated before, my wife does a lot to help her mother, there is no question. My wife works nights, takes care of her mothers needs during the day and basically does without sleep or taking care of her needs. Still, every time she has to do something for her mother, I hear her complain. I can’t tell you the amount of times she has uttered something like, “Great, the one day that I had to sleep and now I have to do this”.

The latest such event was when my wife learned she had to take her mother to the doctor tomorrow. Sure enough I heard how this was the one day where she could have caught up on her sleep (trust me, if this hadn’t come up, something else would have. Either her mom would have had a need for something, in my wife’s mind her mom would have had a need for something, or she would have found something she needed to do for her self).

Again, I think she is a wonderful person for doing all this for her mom. A lot of other people would not (especially considering they never had the best relationship anyway). I know her mom can be difficult and does not always appreciate all her daughter does. Still, as my mom used to say, if you are going to do something, do it with a smile. I would like to see my wife do some of the things she does for her mom without complaining. My wife does not even realize how that can come across and how it can help lead to further tension between her and her mom.

Hopefully, one day they will both appreciate each other before it is too late.