Whose Money Is It

It is amazing to me how two people who are married can see things so differently. Perhaps not amazing, but at times scary.

In a conversation with my mother-in-law yesterday, she made a comment about how expensive a particular service was that she needed. Basically it was a loud explicative that summed up her feelings. After looking over the bill a little more she said, “Oh well, it is only money, and yours at that,” implying that it would just reduce the amount of inheritance from her estate.

I told her that the money was there for her to have and enjoy life and use as necessary. I said that and I meant it although she suggested that living in an assisted living facility there was no way the money could be use to enjoy life. I feel sorry that she feels that way and disagree with her, but I have already posted about that. What I found intriguing was my wife’s reaction.

Upon telling her of her mom’s comments, my wife responded to me, “What does she mean, it’s not your inheritance, it is mine”. Of course, technically she is correct and I am not looking to “cash in” on anything. My wife certainly did not mean anything by this, but it still struck me as odd.

My father passed away about a year and a half ago. My mom had passed away a few years earlier. It took some time to settle the estate, and some things are still be sorted out. The money was split three ways, between me and my siblings (I would gladly give it back if it meant being able to spend some more time with either or both of my parents). During the whole process, I never considered this “My Money” or “My Inheritance,” even if technically it was. This was money coming to the entire family. Had either of my parents talked to my wife about “her inheritance” referring to money she would be getting after they passed away, I would not think twice about it.

The money, by the way, was used to get us out of debt (some each of us had incurred before we were married) and to purchase a house, one for the entire family. The money than was used for things from which we all benefited.

As I stated before, my wife certainly was not looking to start anything (and I did not take it that way or look to start something in return) and yes, she is correct, that is her inheritance. Still, that thought honestly would never have even entered my mind if the roles were reversed.

Bottom line remains, however, I hope my mother-in-law is able to enjoy that money as she is the one who should truly benefit from it.