Seeing a Counselor

Being the spouse of someone who is parenting a parent is not easy. It is, of course, difficult for my spouse, who has to do a number of things for her mother. It is difficult for my mother-in-law who does not want to lose her independence and does not want to admit she can no longer do the things she once did. The tension is very thick between the two of them.

What is often overlooked is the role it plays on other people in the family who are not involved in the day to day decisions. I am, to an extent, involved in the care she is getting as I bring my son, her grandson, over at least once a week and we spend time together. I hear my wife complain, I hear my mother-in-law complain and I am in the middle.

The fact is, there are a number of support groups for people who are affected by certain situation, even if they are not the ones who created them. For instance, growing up I remember hearing the commercials for Al-A-Non, this was for family and friends of people who were alcoholics. There are similar programs for families of people who are drug addicts. I do not know if there is a support group for family and friends of people in this situation, but there are options.

One can just talk with friends to voice frustration. One can blog, as I do, and look for other blogs just to be able to get their point across. One can look for support groups. One can also talk with a counselor. While the people directly involved may need a counselor more, family members and friends of people in this situation may find a counselor helpful.

I recently started seeing a counselor to discuss my frustrations. I am suffering, I think, from some mild anxiety issues and I wanted to get them under control before they get worse, or out of hand. As a result, I decided I needed to see someone to voice my frustrations. It certainly has helped and I would urge people in my situation to see someone. I would also urge the parties involved (in my case, my mother-in-law and my wife) to see someone as well. I think it would help them both tremendously. Still, I cannot control what they do and sometimes I better off not even making suggestions. I can, however, control what I do, and that is just what I’m doing.