Important Papers

Not that long ago my wife went in for some minor surgery on her foot. My wife made sure to have her cell phone, her mother’s living will and her health care proxy. My wife does not go anywhere without them.

Sometimes I wish she would turn her phone off so she could get some sleep, or at least some rest. My wife refuses saying, “what if the assisted living place where my mom is needs to get a hold of me”. I have always felt they could wait an hour if they do not get an answer, but my wife refuses.

When she went in for the operation, she gave me her phone. Guess what? It rang and it was the assisted living facility where my mother-in-law is at. The called to tell her that her mother was not eating. She had recently had some dental surgery and her mouth was sore. Still, it was important for the healing process that she eat. More importantly, as a diabetic, she needs to eat on a regular basis. She refused. Of course they were telling me all of this because my wife was having the surgery.

It is interesting, following the surgery, my wife, instead of just relaxing, called the facility to get the low down and then called her mother to tell her she needed to eat. My mother-in-law agreed to do so. Still, I do not think she did. She did not come out of her apartment and they kept checking on her. Well, tat evening, they found her lying face down on the floor. They called 9-1-1.

My mother-in-law said she had tripped and that was all. I am not sure what tests the hospital did, but they apparently accepted her mom’s version of the story. It may be true, but I think it is important that hospitals, and doctors’ offices for that matter, do a full check. I wish they had kept her longer and done further tests but they let her go.

I thought back to when she first suffered the stroke. After not getting it checked out for a week, they examined her and determined she had two strokes, one recently and one a few years earlier. My mother-in-law had been to doctors between that time. It still bothers me that no one picked up on the earlier stroke until this later one.

It is important for people who are caring for parents to make sure that they get to care for themselves as well. It is important for people who are caring for parents to make sure that the doctors and hospitals do a full check on situations and it is important that people who are caring for parents have a copy of any important papers (such as a living will) close by. By doing this you will be helping everybody involved.