How Can You Go Wrong

Growing up, I remember the feeling when an immediate relative was celebrating a birthday. Did you wish them a Happy Birthday first thing in the morning, or did you try and pretend that you forgot so when it was celebrated later that evening, the family member was surprised?

In my family, we quickly learned that you wished the member a Happy Birthday. Everyone knew we would be celebrating that evening, and if for some reason, it could not be that night, everyone knew the game plan as to when the Birthday would be celebrated. The feeling was, you could never go wrong by wishing someone a Happy Birthday on their birthday.

I recently experienced this feeling again. I had hoped to do some cooking for my mother-in-law for the Jewish high holiday of Rosh Hashanah. I did not do it. I know my mother-in-law is not where she wants to be for the holiday. She does not want to be in any kind of assisted living program and I think it is especially tough around the holidays. Worse than that, however, is needing to be at rehab, and rehab at a non-Jewish facility.

I do not believe my wife’s mother has taken advantage of the services they have at the facility the past couple of years, but she knows they are there. Now, where she is, they do not have Jewish services. As a result, I wondered if I should have avoided calling to wish her a good year, because it might be like rubbing salt in the wound and reminding her of what she cannot have, or if I should call her and wish her a good year, a happy holiday, since it would be inconsiderate (and possibly mean) not to do so.

I heard the voice of my parents saying, “Of course you call her and wish her a good year. How could you not?”

I decided this was what I would do. Still, as it turned out, I did not have, or was not given, much of a choice. My wife was talking with her mother Wednesday evening (before the holiday started). She said, “Here, speak to your mother-in-law,” as she handed me the phone and made sure I knew to wish her a good year. As I said, I had already decided on this approach as we were getting set to start the Jewish New Year. Still, at this point, I really did not have a choice, even if I had planned on something else.

“How can you go wrong wishing someone a Happy New Year”. So to all the Jews out there, and even the Non-Jews, I say to you, “I hope you have a good year”.