Selective Memory

I used to talk with my Dad about people having selective memories. We remember things not the way they occurred, but the way we want to remember. Of course they are based in reality, but we remember making a comment showing how intelligent we were or how we diagnosed the situation so quickly, when in fact that never happened. That is just one example. I do not think this is a bad thing, but it does happen.

There is a variation of that and this is when we want someone to do something for us, so we make exceptions, but we do not make them for other people. Due to the Jewish Holidays and then my son not feeling well, it has been a few week since I got him over to his grandmother, my mother-in-law. I got him there today.

I am fighting a respiratory infection, but I am on antibiotics. She told me I should stay away from my son so I do not give it to him (who do you think gave it to me). When I pointed out that if I stayed completely away from him she would not be seeing him today, her attitude change. It was okay for me to do that, but other than that, I should stay away.

My wife has Pneumonia. She too is on antibiotics and getting better, but she still has it, is not feeling great and is coughing up a storm. She too was told, by her mother, to stay away from our son. When her mom, however, needed something from the store, she called my wife to ask her to get it. My wife has to stay away from her grandson, but she can go out to the mall and infect the whole community.

Again, I do understand where she is coming from and I think many of us would take a similar approach. Still, it is important that we always consider the source and why certain things are being said. We do not have to fight out every issue but we can, and I think should, engage in what I call selective hearing. Sometimes the smartest thing is just to pretend you did not hear. That is often the solution to selective memory.